What is a Fashion Biscuit? Am I a Fashion Biscuit? Who’s hungry?

Do it do it do it do it do it!

Do it do it do it do it do it!

Hello!

Welcome to Fashion Biscuit. The following list should answer your questions. And yes. You are hungry.

You are a fashion biscuit if…

you spend more than 1-2 hours a day fake online shopping. 

If you’re shopping less than two hours a day, but fake shopping for $1000 bags nonetheless you might not be a biscuit, but you could be like a croissant or rugelach or something. I haven’t gotten that far.

you refer to Karl, Marc, Vera, Stella, DVF, or Zac in everyday conversation.

“I’ve been rather depressed since my Marc sunglasses were stolen-RIP” or…

“I can’t believe that Zac handbags and RTW are on sale at gilt.com” 

Which brings me to…

you anxiously stare at your inbox, waiting for sale notifications from websites such as ideeli, gilt, and haute look. I’ll elaborate.

These are three examples of exclusive members only websites that offer high design and luxury brands at crazy discounts. These sales can last minutes or up to thirty six hours, until the inventory is gone.

Sometimes there are giveaways. 

Sometimes the giveaway is a $1595 Chloe bag.

 Sometimes I die.

 Ask me about my recent quick on the draw and drastically discounted purchase of some Christian Dior sunglasses. Please?

you’ve accessorized, or even strongly considered accessorizing, a bathing suit.

I’m talking about precious metal jewelry, scarves, and heels here, my little Biscuits.

Not sarongs.

If you own a sarong throw it away.

you’ve ever uttered the sentence “That is totally RTW Spring ’08.” 

I actually just want someone to say it to me. In a hushed tone. Whisper it in my ear.

“Resort 2008…yea. That’s Right. Ooh…Sculpture…Fall…yea baby.”  Mmm.

Oh! Wait…what? I’m sorry. I got distracted.

you’ve ever asked yourself, “Groceries or Versace?”

This could not only mean your a Fashion Biscuit, but probably also a sick idiot (like me). Get help.

(Psst! Pick the Versace!)

finally and most important, I declare you a Biscuit if you love me.

And my suspenders.

I am just a fan. A raging, lunatic, heart pounding, broke, lover of fashion. I am always learning new things about it and wanting more.

I want to use Fashion Biscuit to show you why I love this fabulous world of style,  textiles, starving models, and diva designers. 

Please subscribe to Fashion Biscuit and come back frequently to laugh, insult, or worship.

Love Jess

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “What is a Fashion Biscuit? Am I a Fashion Biscuit? Who’s hungry?

  1. Cara

    Just one point of clarification….Barney’s currently has a sale on suspenders.

  2. Jen

    You’re hilarious. I guess I fall under the category of ” I love you, so I’m a biscuit” But don’t forget I do also love love love to make fun of fashion don’ts in public places, so I feel right at home.

  3. Cara

    Dear Biscuit,
    Do tell us your commentary on last night’s VMA awards please?

    Sincerely Yours
    Kiki

  4. Stacia

    So I guess if I ask myself…groceries or the tote of my dreams that I too may be somewhat of a buscuit?

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